


Ramblings of a Badge Bunny

by WeWillSpockYou



Category: Almost Human, Jorian - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-15 18:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1314616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeWillSpockYou/pseuds/WeWillSpockYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Almost Human drabbles! <br/>Please come visit! http://wewillspockyou.tumblr.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dorian is building a gingerbread house and has every type of candy known to man strewn out along John’s kitchen counter. John is grumbling about being in diabetic purgatory, even though he is grabbing red gum drops when he thinks Dorian isn’t looking.  


	2. Chapter 2

Dorian is rummaging around in the refrigerator looking for the grapes to add to the fruit punch he is making for the precinct Christmas party. As he is doing this, John is emptying half a bottle of Jack Daniels into the punch and the other half into himself. John hates Christmas parties. 

John and Dorian are walking out of John’s favorite noodle joint when Dorian stops short in the doorway causing John to crash into his back. “Man, what the hell?” John grumbles, and Dorian just turns around, saying nothing. “Dorian, get moving, will ya, we got things to do.” Dorian’s lips quirk and his eyes lift upward to the mistletoe hanging over the doorway. “Well, for fuck’s sake, why didn’t you just say so,” John smiles and grabs the back of Dorian’s neck, pulling him closer as Dorian licks his lips in anticipation.

That awkward moment when Dorian, wearing a Santa hat, bursts into John’s apartment loaded down with bags filled with colorfully wrapped presents. “Ho ho ho,” Dorian calls out.

Shaking his head to hide the grin, John mutters, “NO No no!” He’ll never tell anyone, even under pain of torture that this is the greatest moment of his life.

 

John is passed out on the couch, his head resting lightly on Dorian’s left shoulder, an almost empty bottle of Jim Beam in his left hand clutched to his heart like a lifeline. John’s grip on the bottle slackens a bit and Dorian reaches over to grab it before its amber contents wash down John’s chest. Dorian is gently prying John’s fingers from the neck of the bottle when they suddenly let go and grab hold of Dorian’s wrist. Looking up at John he sees glassy eyes swimming in a storm tossed sea of pain and fear. “Don’t let go,” John whispers, tears slipping from his eyes, as he turns and burrows deeper into Dorian, his face pressed against the smooth synthetic skin of Dorian’s neck, while John’s left hand gently grabs the back of Dorian’s head, holding on for dear life. “Don’t ever let go,” John fiercely pleads, feeling himself slowly sinking below the murky depths of whiskey and misery to find peace this night.


	3. Chapter 3

Dorian knocks on John’s bedroom door. John is tired and his leg is sore; it’s been a long day. “Come on in, Dorian,” he calls out on a sigh.

When Dorian walks in, John sees he is carrying a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “What the hell is that?” John grumbles.

Dorian fills one glass and hands it to John. He watches, fascinated as Dorian pours a glass for himself. “I thought you didn’t drink?”

Pouring the champagne down John’s bare chest, Dorian lowers his head to John’s abs, “I’m not drinking, John, I’m licking.”


	4. Chapter 4

John coming home half-drunk at the end of a gut-wrenching case to his cold, empty apartment and seeing a small Christmas tree with white lights. There is one wrapped package beneath the tree marked, To: John From: Dorian. 

It’s John’s first Christmas present in two years. One tear slides silently down his cheek. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

John Kennex has a hard time saying, “I’m sorry.” He can say “I’m” and he can say “sorry” just not together. When he’s been a complete dick and needs to apologize to Dorian, he simply licks Dorian’s ear.

Dorian understands, it’s enough….


	6. Chapter 6

If we follow the line of thought that John Kennex is the same age as Karl Urban this would make him 41 years old in the year 2048. Following that logic backward, Kennex would have we been born in 2007. SO that hazel eyed boy we’ve been writing and reading smutty fantfic about is 7 years old in 2014! 

You’re welcome! Excuse me while I go scrub out my eyeballs.


	7. Chapter 7

There is no one who enjoys writing angst-ridden Jorian more than me. When John is just so damn vulnerable and you want to shield him in your arms until he can smile again. I live for that, but let us consider this:

John was a regular guy before the incident that cost him his leg and nearly his life. He had a girlfriend he loved, a job, friends. Then BOOM!!! His whole life literally explodes right in front of him. We know that he loses his right leg and has a very large scar on his left shoulder, this could have been so much worse. Consider the inner strength of John Kennex. What it took for him to survive just to get to the emergency room and then through surgery that likely saved his arm and definitely saved his life. How hard he had to fight to SURVIVE. All of those months in a coma, alone and stuck in his own head. How easy would it have been for him to just give up and slip away? Was anyone even visiting him, sitting by his bed and reading him back issues of Guns and Ammo? Was he this lump of a man withering under a sheet, his only company the random hisses and dings of life support and the occasional nurse checking his vitals? Did anyone caress his face and tell him to fight, to live? Maybe Maldonado, as she seems to have known John before the shit hit the fan? We just don't know...

Consider what it was like for John to wake up from this living nightmare; all alone in the middle of the night. Feeling almost two years worth of beard growing on his face, wondering where the hell he is or more specifically WHEN the hell he is. Trying to cry out for help, but his voice not able to, atrophied from disuse. That HORRIBLE moment when he realizes the sheet is flat against the bed when it should have been surrounding his right leg. Oh, John... 

The doctors rushing around him, telling him what a miracle it is that he woke up, that he can go back to his normal life with a synthetic leg, all of the head patting and people telling him he looks great, when really he is dead inside and alone. The fights he must have had with the people who came to fit his stump for the prosthetic, more fights with the staff at physical therapy. Learning how to WALK all over again, like a small child. Imagine a little dark-haired boy learning the same thing, his leg lost in a tragic car accident that killed his parents. This little boy's smile and drive to walk, giving John a spark of hope that he can succeed too. All of the times John ended up flat on his face, the day he was so mad he threw the synthetic leg across the room, furious at himself and his lot in life. Crying ugly tears as he pulled himself across the floor with his arms to get to where the leg landed. Crying when he managed to walk across the room on his own. 

What happened to his home? His possessions? I bet he had this sweet motorcycle that he treated like his baby, that he spent weekends lovingly restoring to life and later riding, free from the stresses of his boring life. Finally being discharged from the hospital to go???  Where? With whom?  

That call he finally placed to Moldonado, drunk and miserable, saying that if he can't be a cop he might as well have died in that explosion. Moldonado pulling EVERY string, calling in every favor anyone ever owed her to get John back on the force in some capacity.

Let's not forget the PTSD. Flashbacks of his dying partner, the lifeless MX telling him there was no way to save his partner, his friend. The explosion and the fire, the pain, all playing on an endless loop in his head. Now he is strapping on his holster and stepping back into the line of fire again, because that is who HE is, who he was BORN to be.


	8. Chapter 8

Trying to write McKirk and Jorian won’t let me! 

Step back Detective Kennex, step the fuck back or arrest me, the choice is yours! 

I think we should bring her in John!

Shut up Dorian…

I really wish she would come back and play with us Bonesy.

I feel ya kid, I really feel you.

That’s the spirit Bones, now you’re talking!

Grrrr…..


	9. Chapter 9

“You’re boring John.”

“I am so not boring Dorian. I do lots of interesting things, lots.”

“Oh yeah, John, name one.”

“Well, I watch soccer.”

“Just like I said John, boring.”

“Okay D what do you do that makes you the world’s most interesting android?”

“I sing karaoke, John.”

“Well sure, it’s easy when you can do it in someone else’s voice.”

“I sing with my own dulcet tones, John.”

“Dulcet tones? Pleeeese, I’ve heard you sing, remember? Dogs howled from blocks away.”

Dorian touched the radio, disco face swirling. He began to sing along:

**_“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”_ **

John laughed and surprisingly joined in:

“ ** _If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever, friendship never ends.”_**


	10. Chapter 10

“Happy Pi Day, John.”

“You got a low charge or something?”

“No John, I am simply wishing you a happy Pi Day. It’s an international holiday.”

“Is it now, then why don’t I see any pie around, mmmm love me a good apple pie, Dorian.”

“Not P-I-E, John, P-I.”

“Oh you mean that book about the boy who’s stuck on a life boat with a tiger?”

“John the irrational number pi is a repeating decimal the first three numbers of which are 3.14.”

“That’s it, we’re going back to Rudy’s so he can run a diagnostic on you.”

“John today is March 14…  3.14…get it?”

“Yeah, now I got a headache and no P-I-E.”


	11. Chapter 11

John walked from the bedroom to the kitchen, returning a few moments later with a can he was vigorously shaking.

“What is that John?”

“You’ll see Dorian. Be patient.”

“Wait, you’re telling me to be patient, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

John’s smile was devious. He uncapped the can and began drawing on Dorian’s body with whipped cream. He coated his cock, drew a line up to his nipples, coated his neck and lastly covered his lips. Dorian moaned in response as John started to lick and suck the cream from his body.

“You like it D?”

“I like how excited it makes you. How do you plan to get all of the whipped cream off me, John.” Dorian panted.

John looked up and grinned. “Gonna lick it off, Dorian, that’s the point here.”

“You are going to have to be the one to explain to Rudy how my inner workings got clogged with whip-”

“Relax and enjoy, D” John smirked as he lowered his mouth down to Dorian’s cock.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl Urban at his panel at MegaCon said he thinks Almost Human will be renewed. This of course got my Jorian juices flowing!!

Shooting Hoops

“OOOOF” John Kennex hit the pavement with a thud.

“John, you okay, man?”

“Great, Dorian, but could you stop hitting me like a 300 pound linebacker.”

“Linebacker? Oh yes, a football reference.”

“Dorian, just access files on Michael Jordan.”

“20th Century American professional basketball player.  Six time NBA World Champion, Five time Most Valuable Player…”

“Enough with the encyclopedia, Disco Face, access his fade away jump shot.”

Dorian’s face swirled blue lights. He dribbled the ball, once, twice, jumped up, shot the ball and fell back. Swish. “Nothing but net.”


	13. Chapter 13

Headcanon: John calling Dorian "D"

In that one episode of Almost Human when John calls Dorian “D” and then tosses him the keys to the cruiser so he can drive, the “D” doesn’t stand for Dorian. It stands for Daddy!


	14. Spin the Bottle

Spin the Bottle

“What is Spin the Bottle, John?” 

 

“Spin the bottle? You’re charge runnin low Dorian?”

 

“I’m fine, John. What is it?”

 

“It’s a game teenagers play at parties. Everyone sits in a circle and you put an empty bottle on the floor. One person spins it and when the bottle stops the spinner has to kiss the person the mouth of the bottle is pointing toward.”

 

 “Did you ever play?”

 

“Yeah, sure, I mean Spin the Bottle was okay, but Seven Minutes in Heaven was where the action was…those were the days.”

 

“Seven Minutes in Heaven, John?”

 

“Yeah you do the same thing, you spin the bottle and instead of giving the person the bottle is pointing at a small peck on the cheek, you had to spend seven minutes in the closet with that person making out.”

 

Dorian got up from the couch and walked away.

 

“D? Where you goin?

 

“To grab an empty bottle.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want to see any of these drabble evolve into a full length fic!


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